I've always wanted to be completely honest on my blog, so today I am going to write about something I am finding a little difficult at the moment. In turn this will hopefully help others who perhaps feel in a similar position, and also help me out a bit by "getting things off my chest".
As you'll know if you read my previous posts such as "Ideas, Plans and Moving Forward', and 'New Year, New Resolution?', something I'm currently working towards is deciding what I want my next step to be, in regards to a job, work experience, further education or similar. I am very lucky to be in a position where I haven't a need to rush with this as I have incredible support from my family and friends. For this I feel very grateful, and if you are reading - thank you.
Nonetheless, at the moment I feel I am in an uncomfortable "limbo" type situation, with feelings of uncertainty, and in a time period awaiting a decision, or resolution. I am continuously thinking of possibility upon possibility, worrying about the future, that I'll never find 'my thing', and yes, the list goes on.
For the last couple of years, and especially since travelling to the U.S. I have learnt to focus on minimising pressure, stress, and anything that will impact my health negatively; to stay as calm and positive as possible. Of course the odd occasion of feeling not so good is only normal and thats fine - no one can be completely jolly, calm etc 24.7, we only human, ey! But over time I've learnt a great coping mechanism when feeling down, or under pressure etc. This being to acknowledge and accept these times, then to remember to breath, to let go and eventually move on. Since learning this I have definitely improved with managing my feelings. Don't get me wrong, over all I do feel a lot more content happier, and better in myself, and those close to me can see how much so.
With that said, recently I have found myself worrying and stressing etc more so than not. Therefore making my focus on keeping calm and not rushing to make any decisions for my near future is currently proving to cause more negatives than positives, and I find myself in a counterproductive position.
This is annoying, and unnerving, but instead of letting the feelings of not knowing, of worry and of upset get me down from right this second I am going to start looking at the situation from a different perspective.
Let me explain...maybe, this counterproductive position is a way of telling me my next step is nearing closer, and soon awaits me. And maybe this is that time just before; like when boiling a kettle, the bit where the water starts to bubble and the kettle starts to shake a little, right before the water is ready to pour. So what I'm thinking, is that that's where I am - at the shaking and bubbling stage, and like with the kettle, its right to wait just that little bit longer until it has settled down again.
As well as writing this to share with you reading, this post is also here for me as a milestone to show me how far I have come, and to look back on once I get past this unnerving yet slightly exciting time. I feel I am edging nearer to that next step, and I needn't stress as I will find my way at the right time.
The worst thing to do at this stage is to try and rush anything; although I must say I think I am almost ready. For now, perhaps in the meantime I can start looking at more ideas, and possible options. Then when I find the 'shaking and bubbling' has stopped, that will be my time. That will be when I'm ready. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
As always, thank you so much for reading! Especially today as I know its been a long one!
I'd love to know your thoughts on this post, as well as the other posts on my blog :)
All my love x